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I was certainly more depressed. It is at this time of year that I missed my family most. I don't usually let it get to me, but... Even in this shithole I can hear people enjoying themselves. It just reinforces my sense of loss. I cry myself to sleep.At daybreak my mind is made up. Without pausing for breakfast (breakfast, who's kidding who?) I leave my room and head for the nearby railway line. There is a footpath across the tracks here. I wait for a train to approach and calmly walk out in the middle of the line. I stop and turn my back on the oncoming train. All I can hear is the sound of its horn and the squeal of its brakes. The horn gets louder and louder as the train gets nearer. I know that I haven't given the driver time to stop, so I wait for the bump; the bump that will release me from this hell of an existence."Peter, are you alright? I heard you scream and found you shivering," a beautiful voice asks.I was alive, worse luck. It must have been a dream. I look at the face. Closing the door I noticed that there were still no lights, but by the light from outside I could see that the muddy footprints went back toward the back of the trailer.I started to ask Cindy to check and see if her mom was up and about but then thought better of it. After all, she could be lying in a pool of blood in the back and I certainly wouldn't want Cindy to stumble into something like that. I wasn't sure what but something wasn't right. Instead I called out from the living room. "Mrs. Deal, This is Jim Saunders, are you home?" I knew that this would seem foolish if she was home but better sound foolish than have a hysterical teen on my hands. Cindy looked at me as if I was daft and started to walk towards the back of the trailer. I caught her arm and shook my head no. She looked puzzled but stopped. I then pointed back to the couch and motioned for her to go sit down.She started "But Jim, I..."Instantly, I motioned for her to be quiet and called out louder. "Mrs. Deal, This.
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